So as a mom and a blogger, there are certain blogs I pretty much frequent on a regular basis. One of them I became connected to through an online message board I am a member of. It's called Working Moms Against Guilt (or WMAG for short).
They have posted several interesting blogs in the past, including some of my favorites like on Tuesdays where they do quick and easy recipes focused on busy working moms who want healthy meals for their families. Anyway, I've gotten behind recently in my reading over at WMAG because of an *ahem* new member to our home who requires lots of time and attention. And snuggles. And kisses. I digress....
They recently posted a blog entitled Why Guilt for Liking Work? where each of the four contributors to the blog gave her own personal take on why moms sometimes feel guilty for enjoying the time they spend at work (away from their children).
I remember when Gracie was born and I went back to work, how conflicted I was. On the one hand it was extremely nice to go back to adult conversations that didn't involve coo-ing, drool, and stinky diapers. On the other, I missed my baby. At the same time, it was like while I was gone from work everybody had a big party I wasn't invited to. I just felt so out of place and so confused, I think that is the point when all that "post-partum depression" stuff really took it's toll on me.
There are days, even before I went on maternity leave with James, that I hate working. I wish we had the financial stability for me to be a stay at home mom (sometimes). And then often times I wonder if we were in a situation and I could stay at home full-time, would I really want to? There are days when I'm exhausted from work and the last thing I want to do is get down on the same level as my children and play. And other times when I've had a bad day at work or whatever, that little silly smile can make my whole day even better.
I do agree with Tela, in that typically my eight hour shift at work each day makes me appreciate so much more the time I do have at home with my children. I'm sure once I go back to work in October, I'll start to feel that way even more. I'm not knocking the stay at home moms at all, because I'm sure (even staying at home) their workload is just as demanding - schedules, naps, house cleaning, errands, etc.
I guess either way sometimes it's hard to find a balance. I know a lot of stay at home moms who get flack because they don't "do" anything except sit at home and watch TV all day. Knowing the handful of SAHMs I do, I can tell you firsthand THAT is very far from the truth.
So if you work or you stay at home with the kids, what is your take? Share your thoughts with me....I'd love to hear them.
8.27.2009
Food for Thought: Are you Guilty?
Posted by Miranda at 9:46 AM
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4 comments:
I wish I could work part time. I think that would be the best of both worlds...
What a great post! I guess I'm one of the guilty ones. Before I had Katelyn I longed for the day to stay home with her and be completed devoted to her. Not long after the newness of SAHM wore off and I longed to go back to work. I felt so guilty for those feelings and still do today. SAHM is one of the hardest jobs ever I believe. There is NO break - 24/7! Even when they are a school or MMO you are rushing trying to get everything you need to do done before they are back again. I miss going to work and getting to concentrate on a task with minimal interruptions. I've tried going "back to work" a couple of times over the past 4 years but it was always a struggle. Either I was guilty for leaving my kids or work was to stressful trying to balance the two. Now I'm trying to figure out how to work and stay at home with my kids. WOW! That is tough! Pretty much the only time to "work" is when they are sleeping which means you don't get to sleep. Over time that is a killer as well. I don't know the answer to all this but it is an interesting debate. I'm just as jealous of those working moms and they are of me I'm sure.
I love the post, and James is so cute! Congrats!
I am, and have been a stay at home mom since Abigail was born 5 years ago. I love every minute of it! I do get stressed every now and then, and I do enjoy my nice breaks in the evenings. But as you said it is far from "sitting home watching tv," which most people believe that is all i do. I could not work now if I wanted to, because of Anthony's issues. We have therapies all week, and between that and doctors someone has to be home. I admire women that can work and come home and have the energy for dinner, bath, bedtimes, etc. I know that it is equally hard.I think my happy medium is play groups, and PTA. I get my adult interaction and my children are with me. It works for me.
I have been a stay at home mom for 10 weeks now. I was worried and there were actual bets that I would not be able to deal with not going to work everyday. I thought so too until she was born.
I can say that anyone that thinks a stay at home mom does nothing all day should have a week in the life. I was in the Army, an HR Manager, and a in business sales and this is by far the most time consuming and exhausting job I have ever had. There is no pay, no glory, and no promotions. However, the perks are wonderful. On my roughest day a smile from Sophie is the only pay check and reward that I need.
I do respect working moms. I know that I am lucky that I can afford to stay at home. Most working moms do not have the option and that must be tough.
I also feel that regardless of what any woman "decides" that the guilt is always there in some way. Sometimes it is the mother in law saying "I did not stay at home with my kids and they turned out just fine." Sometimes it is the snoty woman at church that says "well my children are so well developed because I was at home with them all the time."
I really think that women regardless of their mommy status needs to stand together and support eachother. Lord knows we all need it and somedays we need it more than others.
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