4.22.2009

Are you watching?

So this whole post started earlier today when I read Amy's post about Jackson discussing the difference between boys and girls...and then Amy mentioned Dora. And then when I called to discuss with her some of my issues with children's programming, she mentioned something I'd not heard of yet: Do you know about Tween Dora?

Let me back up. I am what some of my family would probably consider an "Over-Done" Mom. Meaning that alot of my parenting, when it comes to Gracie, is different from their own. I don't allow her to have sodas (just recently we started letting her have Sprite as a drink choice when we're eating out) or over indulge in any kind of sweet goodies. One of my cousins even tried to convince me back during Thanksgiving to (her words) let Gracie inhale an entire giant tube of M&M minis "and then just crash." That's just not how I parent! I choose to give my child sweets when I feel she should have them, while she is still young enough that I have a say so in her choices but still give her some room to make an independent decision.
I do believe that children should be respectful of adults or people in authority, so she was taught very early how to say "Please", "Thank you" and "Yes Ma'am/Sir" and "No Ma'am/Sir." I strongly believe that if you teach a child early enough what their boundaries are (in terms of discipline) that spanking should be used as a last resort. We don't use words like shut up, stupid, or anything that might be considered inappropriate.

It just irritates me when because a child wants or makes a request for something that parents give in and let them have it.
Does Gracie get every single item she requests when we go on shopping trips together? No.
Does Gracie get a second helping of ice-cream just because she still wants more? No.
Do I feel as though my child is allowed to make some independent choices while I still get the final decision? Yes.
One example would be the eating out issue - letting her pick what she wants to drink and then maybe deciding what she wants for dinner (mac and cheese or a burger) and then I get to decide if she has fries, applesauce, or baked Cheetos with that choice.

And now that I've got up on my soap box and voiced my personal opinion, I'm switching gears to what this post is originally about: When you allow your children to watch television - are you monitoring what they watch?
We have a handful of movies that some are kid-friendly (I would let Gracie watch unsupervised) and others are kind of kid-friendly with parents watching also (movies that might have scenes that some parents might feel are not appropriate for toddlers).

The reason I bring this up now is because about two weeks ago, for three seperate nights, I believe Gracie was experiencing nightmares or night terrors. The first night I heard her making a phony kind of cry and calling my name. It only lasted about ten minutes and I never got up. The next time it happened, it went on for about fifteen minutes and she was doing the same thing; phony crying and calling for me: "Mommy I NEED you!". So I went into her room where, wide awake, she seemed perfectly content to sit on the bed and talk to me. The dog jumped over the gate and woke her up. I turned on her music, told her that she had just heart a noise, and she went back to sleep about a little more crying.

The third night was the worst, with real crying (loudly) and by the time I got to her room, she was at her door in a rumpled mess.

As a parent, I began to question myself: What had she eaten on those nights that may have caused nightmares? Was she not going to be early enough? What was she seeing on TV that might have been bothering her during her sleep? For Gracie to not sleep through the night is highly unusual. Unless she is sick with fever or an ear infection, she is not one to wake in the middle of the night. So the first suggestion (from another parent) I received was to monitor the TV programs I let her watch. Normally, that would consist or anything on Disney or NOG - Dora, Little Einsteins, Spongebob, and some reruns of Reba that I watch on Lifetime.

Bryan also enjoys watching CSI, NCIS, Law and Order....and then it hit me. From now on, when we watch TV, it has to be something age appropriate when Gracie is in the room. No shows with dead bodies or bloody faces or anything that a preschooler would not understand is only a made up version for television purposes.
It has been about a full week since I started this test run, and so far it seems to be helping. She is not waking in the middle of the night or anything.

It just goes to show (to me as well) that while I might try to stick to what I believe is good, solid parenting - sometimes I slip up and make a mistake too. I want her to be independent and have a voice in making choices for herself but understanding that if it is not something Mommy and Daddy approve of, they might make the final decision for her.

1 comments:

Mom to the 3rd degree said...

We just went through this with Hayden and still are. He has been waking up in a night terror everynight. I took him to the doctor because they are very violent, I was so worried. Like you, we do not allow Hayden to play video games unless they are the old racing games or vtech. they is only allowed to watch cartoons on saturday and sunday and we know what they are watching. I could not figure out why this is happening. The doctor said that you have to have 2 hours before bedtime with NO stimulation. That means two hours with no tv, video games, rough playing, etc. So she suggested we do a snack @ 6, bath @ 630, reading books until 715 and then go to bed to "rest" at 715 and be asleep by 8. So that's what we have started and the night we started it, the night terrors stopped. Night terrors are caused when the kis are too exhausted and they go into a deep sleep, no matter what they see on tv. The difference in a night terror or nightmare is that the children will not remember the eposide in the morning. Also they have a "possesed" (i hate that word, but it is how they look) look in their eyes.Sorry for the rambling. I hope that helps you some!