When your past comes back to haunt you...

You know, before I became a Christian, I don't think I thought much about God and his plans for my life. I mean we've been told numerous times in church (during sermons, and sometimes even during Sunday School) that God has a plan for our lives, even if we don't know what it is - He does. Is that not the absolute most amazing thing you've ever heard? Today, something (or rather, someone) from my past showed up unexpectedly, and I found myself later silently thanking God that the so called "prayers" I whispered back then went unanswered. Because boy, how different my life would be now.
Cherylle is one of my co-workers, and it's not often we get to take lunch together because typically when I'm leaving work, Cherylle is just coming in. Anyhow we got to go to lunch together today and we chose Hardee's, which is right across from Winn-Dixie where we work. I don't eat there often for lunch, and the food was fairly decent, but Cherylle (and for those of you who know her, know how true this is) makes a rather funny comment about some random guy walking in the door. Needless to say as she's making this comment, I look up and my past literally and figuratively walks right through the door.
This past I keep referring to has a name, and it happens to be...well, we'll just call him "K" for short. Not that I think he has somehow managed to find this blog and will be reading about himself in the near future. I had this mega-huge, teenybopper style crush on "K" when I was in the tenth grade. Wrote him this long, poetic letter and poured my heart and soul into it and at the end of my note asked if he had any romantic interest in going "out" with me. His simple and yet vague response was "We'll see". And that, right there, should have told me that I had no future whatsoever with "K". But ah, the heart is a tricky thing when you think you know what love is and you're just itching to find out.
I won't sit here and confess any secret details of what happened after that, without first telling you that I learned rather quickly that "K" is the type of guy who only wants something when someone else has it, and he is not ashamed to take it without asking first. I don't mean that in the horrible manner it might have come out, there was nothing violent about our relationship (or whatever you might call it). He was stringing me along basically, and I was just happy to be strung along no matter the consequences. Even if it meant breaking the heart of someone I claimed to care about, only in turn to have karma come back and bite me in the butt when I had my own heart broken by "K".
I was young and foolish to sum it all up, and I learned my lesson the hard way after I got burned. So seeing him today reminded me that no matter how old you are, a bad relationship can test your nerves when you are confronted with that person and both of you know what happened. Yet, you don't speak because you feel like it wouldn't be appropriate. But you hear nervous laughter and wonder - is he talking about me? And I'm sure "K", no matter how much self-confidence he always appears to have, is wondering the same.
But after I had time to get my nerves to calm down, I found myself thanking God for those prayers he didn't answer. How different my life would be! I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, and we have a beautiful little girl - who might not exist now, had my life taken another path.
It's just comforting to know that even when you are young and stupid, there is someone out there who is looking out for your best interests. Even if he's going to be the Father you know him to be, and let you make a few fumbles before He helps you clean up your mess. It's good to know that somebody is watching my back!