11.20.2007

For Mama


A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.
- Washington Irving (1783-1859)


My mother was so excited about being a grandmother than when she retired in April of 2005, she told everybody at her retirement reception that she wasn't going back to work; she was going to be a full-time grandmother. I knew she was excited about being a grandmother, but I never expected the never-ending love and support I got from her not only while I was pregnant, but even the months and leading up to the two years since Gracie has been born.
I remember how terrified I was when Gracie was born and they let us come home from the hospital. Still feeling a little bit in shock, I didn't sleep much the day we came home from the hospital. And my stomach went into knots every single time someone mentioned leaving me alone with the baby.So it was an utter shock to me that first night home when Gracie, screaming and crying, refused to go to sleep and I was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. Bryan called my mom and she came right over, rocking and cuddling Gracie until she went to sleep.
And she was right there when I went back to work, suffering what I consider a mild case of post-partum depression, and invited the three of us to spend the night at her house.

My point in this long, rambling post is that I don't know where I would be as a mother without my mother. Even before that, going back to when I was little and she had to play dual roles of Mommy and Daddy. I often take for granted the fact that she was always there, constantly, no matter what.

My mother is taking a job overseas for a year. And at first, it really bothered me. Okay well to be totally honest...I'm still not 100% okay with it. But I'm adjusting. I've managed to get Gracie through 2 years of her life without any major scars. And I know in my heart that if my mom had other options, she would not willingly miss out on a year of Gracie's life. And I understand that this is a good thing for her, and a positive move in terms of finances and everything.

It just sucks, I guess. But I'm not going to be depressed about it, I'm going to be excited for what this opportunity means for my mom.
And so I'm dedicating this post on Gracie's blog to her, as a way of wishing her luck and telling her just how much we love and will miss her. And how she'd better check this blog on a daily basis, OR ELSE! :)


When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

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